Saturday, January 22, 2011
{ 8:03 AM }
I thought it was over for me, but now, it seems like I'm still not over you. Or at least it feels like it. Gosh, I don't know why I have this feeling or is still harbouring hopes (I am not suppose to). I've gave up so many years ago, but now it's coming back. I found back the initial reason I liked you, your warmth, your gentleness, your friendliness..I've lost it after getting in contact with you again. But now I'm starting to remember it clearer. Maybe you shouldn't treat me so well. That way I know what I did in the past was right and continue to move on. I've moved on, but there's this string that keep pulling me back. You and our past is confusing me, haunting me, so will you do something to make me feel better. Stop torturing me please. Let it go and set us free..
School's going to reopen and there is this huge mess to clear. I think we are the bottleneck here so I better quickly do something and get those things done. I've been working during the holidays but this thing doesn't seem to be getting anywhere:( Must be my fault for being too slow again right? Sigh. And the Malaysia trip didn't help either, taking me off from work for 10 days. But those days in Malaysia were great. I didn't need to think about anything, worry about anything (because I can't do anything either). How I wished I had a life like that. But in reality this cannot happen to me. I miss the food and the people especially the kids. They made me realise a lot of things and that made me think about my past and future. I've got back my results and they are not fantastic at all. That made me a little disappointed, but I think I didn't put in as much effort as I am suppose to put in. This is the results I deserve and I agree with this. You reap what you sowed right? So I promised myself that next semester, I will work harder:) I know next semester will be a hectic one, one with 6 mods and all the publicity stuff to clear, so I have to plan my time, stay focus and work hard. This will keep my mind off a lot of things and people right?